


moon river

by lucigucci



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- Mermaid, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Male Apprentice (The Arcana), almost?, cannibalism...?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25948144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucigucci/pseuds/lucigucci
Summary: (moon river by frank ocean)Pirate captain Julian Devorak is rescued from a shipwreck by a mysterious and slightly fishy stranger who might be hiding quite a few secrets. I was inspired to write this by @vesuviasfastestcourtier and their gorgeous depiction of a Mermaid AU Asra Alnazar.
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

Cold. Icy cold. Drip drip wet. Echoes. Cold. Pain pain pain pain pain. Julian Devorak scrunched his eyes tighter closed, trying somehow to block it out, to, of course, no avail. He was shivering all over from the icy soaking water combined with the hot shooting pains in his head and stomach.

What… happened?

The last thing he remembered was a cold swirling dark, wrapping him up in its embrace, filling him to bursting, and then a sharp pain in his abdomen, coming with relief from the salt in his lungs.

Julian groaned. He should… be dead… shouldn’t he?

Then why wasn’t he?

Another memory bobbed to the surface of the waters of his mind. A gorgeous song, an enchanting voice, and, looming in the distance, a pair of hypnotizing eyes. Those eyes shone through the night, emanating their own radiant light. Julian realized now that they couldn’t possibly belong to a human.

A new burst of pain shot through his stomach and he groaned. Salt lingered on his lips, crusting the back of his throat. He opened his eyes.

There was someone next to him.

He and the someone let out a startled cry at the exact same time. Before Julian could even process who he was looking at, they disappeared.

Julian blinked. Maybe… he was going crazy. Maybe this was a vivid hallucination, and really, at the moment, he was sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

Because how else would he have ended up in a dark and dingy cave, laying on his back on cool stone, inches from the murky water to his side?

He tried to move. He couldn’t. With another groan, he glanced downward to the source of the pain. A gaping scarlet chasm in his abdomen dripped red red red that flowed down and blossomed into the saltwater below. “Ghh… great,” he rasped.

The surface of the lapping waves broke, just for a moment. Something was down there. Watching him. 

“I can s-see you,” he reproached, fear disappearing into the dizzy depths of agony.

Something white and soft and dripping rose from the water. It would probably be very fluffy if only it were dry. And then–

“No,” Julian whispered.

Those eyes again. Those eyes that glowed in the dark, entrancing, purple, poisonous. They peered at him over the infinite blackness of the water.

Julian tried his best to scramble backward, even with his wound, but a bronze hand rose from the water to still him with a hand on his wrist. It was as cold as a corpse’s. 

“I don’t know what you w-want,” Julian gasped, unable to do much but squirm against his captor’s gentle grip in his current state, “but please, please, haven’t I suffered enough?”

The head in the water cocked to one side.

“Even if there was a chance you’d let me go, both of us know I wouldn’t make it far,” he continued, gesturing with his free hand as much as he could manage to his wound. “So just… just kill me… quick. Please. I’d like that. M-maybe death isn’t so bad.”

The head rose to reveal shining caramel cheeks and a pair of pillowy lips. Whoever this angel, devil, reaper was, they were nothing short of gorgeous. They released Julian’s wrist so they could drag a languid finger through the trail of blood flowing to the ocean. Both lovely violet eyes fixated on the crimson dripping down their finger. “Waste,” they whispered.

“P-pardon?”

They turned their gaze to him, and, without breaking eye contact, slipped their finger between their lips to lick it clean. It was terrifying and… incredibly arousing. Or was that Julian’s libido talking? “I do not wish you dead,” they told him in a voice as smooth and sweet as raw honey.

“Oh. Y-you don’t…?”

A lovely glistening collarbone, draped in jewelry that caught what little light entered the cave, emerged from the waves, then a chest, and the beginnings of a lithe torso. They placed a hand next to his wound and he winced. “How do you heal?” they inquired.

Julian cocked an eyebrow. “Heal…? You mean, how would I treat a wound?”

The lovely vision nodded.

“Well, I’d clean it, to start with. Wouldn’t, ah… wouldn’t want it to get infected. And then I’d wrap it in something dry to stop the bleeding.”

“Clean?” They glanced down at the water surrounding them, considering their options, then bit their plush bottom lip. “Salt… does not do well for land-dwellers.”

Julian was about to retort but instead he found himself in a coughing fit from the salt in his windpipe. His savior shrank back into the water, confused, until Julian’s breath calmed– at least as much as it could. “Do you have something I can drink?” Julian rasped.

They furrowed their brows together. “No salt,” they clarified.

“No salt. _Please_ no salt. That’ll m-make it worse.”

They seemed to understand. They sank back below the water, but only for a moment, before they re-emerged– empty-handed. Before Julian could comment on this, they leaned close to his face, dangerously close. One gentle hand coaxed his mouth open with their thumb. Of course, in an ordinary situation, Julian would have questioned this, but right now was far from ordinary.

Julian only had a moment to register the soft lips resting against his own before cool fresh water flooded into his mouth. He spluttered for a moment while his throat adjusted to take it down. Why question it when it provided such relief?

The white-haired beauty broke away, watching Julian’s face for signs of distress. Julian gave them a shaky grin. “Thanks,” he said.

“More?”

“Uh– no, I’m, uh, good for now.” Julian blushed now that he realized just where the water came from. “You– er, sorry, personal question– who are you?”

They ran their fingers through his auburn hair with the fascination and reverence of a creature who had never known human touch before. “It has been a long day,” they told him. “Sleep. I will make you whole again.”

Somehow, on command, Julian’s eyelashes fluttered, though he willed them to stay open. “Where am I? What happened to me? What happened to my crew? Where is my ship?”

And then there was music. It echoed around the cave, surrounding Julian and holding him in its embrace. They were singing again. Just for him.

Julian closed his eyes and allowed their music to carry him away from the realm of the living.


	2. Chapter 2

What a strange dream that was. 

Julian Devorak had been dreaming that he was in the second shipwreck of his life, and he had somehow woken up in a cave with a beautiful stranger who kissed him and sang him to sleep.

Too bittersweet. He didn’t care for it. At least when he opened his eyes he would be back in bed and everything would be–

He opened his eyes.

Oh.

Oh _no_.

He was staring at the ceiling of the cave. Hard smooth stone pressed against his back.

Julian bolted upright, wincing at once in pain. Both his shirt and jacket were nowhere to be found. His abdomen, however, was bound tightly in what looked like tatters of old shirts and pants. Then if the wound was real, and the cave was real–

He glanced around in the dim light. No sign of white hair or shining skin or orchid eyes. “Hello?” he called. His own voice bounced off the rock back to him. Now the panic began to set in. Had they left him alone in the cave to die after all?

“Hello,” a voice replied from the water. His savior’s head emerged once more, smiling. “How are you feeling?”

“Er– a little shaky. Did you do this?” Julian gestured to the binding around his torso.

They nodded proudly. “And cleaned it first,” they boasted.

“Well then. Good job, for your first attempt. You’re a quick learner.” Julian rearranged himself into a seated position, cross-legged from the lapping water. “So. I have questions.”

To his dismay, they sank further into the water, until only their worried purple eyes were visible. “Er, not about you,” Julian remedied, “if you’re awkward about that kind of stuff. I am too. Here, I’ll go first. My name is Captain Julian Devorak. I was a captain on board the– hey, c’mere, I don’t bite.” He smirked and beckoned them forward. “I mean, we already kissed, so it’s not like you don’t know that.”

They rose and drifted forward. With their elbows, they propped their head up out of the water, so they could stare up at Julian’s face in awe. “Julian Devorak,” they repeated.

“Uh, just Julian is fine. What’s your name?”

They grinned, revealing two adorable dimples. “Asra.”

“Asra. I like that. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way–” he took a deep breath, because the more he pondered the question, the more he dreaded the answer– “how did you find me? And were there other people with me?”

He couldn’t read Asra at all. At last, Asra said, “alone, on a rock. The current dashed Julian against the peak and broke him.” They reached forward and placed a delicate hand on his wound. “I thought he might be broken completely until I came closer. Then I heard his heartbeat.”

“And you took me here?”

“Yes, my home. Where I knew Julian would be safe. The sharks do not come here. They are afraid of me.” He smiled again.

Julian’s eyebrows knitted together. He was getting a bad feeling about this. “The sharks… are afraid of you?”

Asra nodded. “This territory is mine, all mine. Nothing will enter. Nothing will exit. I am very protective over my belongings.” They withdrew their hand from Julian’s torso to support their head and continued their content observations of Julian’s increasing nervousness.

“Er– right. Good. As you should be.” Julian swallowed, hard. Despite his appearance, Asra must not be human at all, and Julian shuddered at the thought. How are you supposed to pop the question of whether or not the thing you’re talking to is a person or not? At last, Julian said, “Asra, I, uh, I was wondering– I was with other people in the ocean. I know I was. What happened to them?”

Asra’s face fell. They fidgeted on their perch. “Eaten,” he muttered.

“ _Eaten_?” Julian yelped.

“Some by the waves. Some by sharks. Some by… other things. Julian was the only one whose heart still begged for life.”

Julian sighed and bowed his head. Tears bubbled up in his throat. There were so many good men and women in his crew, some of whom he had travelled with for many years, and every single one of them were lost forever.

“Do not despair,” Asra added. “Julian has been blessed with life. I thought… Julian would be happy.”

“How can I be happy when so many people are dead?” he replied, hollow and distant.

Asra rested an icy hand over his own, and, out of instinct, Julian slapped it away. Asra retreated to the water with a wail. “So you saved me and left them to die?” Julian demanded. “Why? Answer me! I know you know what happened, Asra! Tell me what you are!”

Asra’s eyes glowed from over the surface of the water, angry and scared.

Julian growled, clutching his wound with one hand and crawling forward to the water’s edge with the other. Whatever Asra was, he couldn’t best them in a fight in this state. If he wanted answers, he would need to coax them out with his tongue, as was his favorite method of holding power. “Asra,” he said, softer and kinder, balancing on his hands and knees to lean toward the current, “you’re so lovely, so kind to me, and I just want to make you happy. I want you to show me every beautiful inch of you.”

Even below the water he could see a satisfying pink creep over Asra’s cheeks and even the tips of their ears.

“Come here, Asra. I’m sorry I was so rude. I promise I’ll be nicer for you.”

Asra approached and even displayed their neck as they rose. “Julian,” he murmured, and too soon, he was a breath away from Julian’s face.

“Show me,” Julian whispered, but what he wanted shown to him was unclear even to him.

“I do not wish to frighten…”

“I won’t be frightened. I’m a big boy. I can hold it together.”

A few feet behind Asra, something shimmered in the water. Julian craned his head and squinted to see. Flashes of scales, silver, pale as moonlight, and at the end, a long flowing tail with luxurious ruffles that undulated forever in the dark. 

Julian resisted the urge to pull back. He knew exactly what this creature was– one of the legendary merfolk, a monster with the top half of a human and the bottom half of a fish. Every sailor worth his salt knew the stories of the merfolk who haunted the open seas, luring ships into deadly traps with their voice.

Traps.

Deadly.

With a startled gasp of realization, Julian could not resist this time throwing himself backward, scuttling as far away as he could, to the cave wall. “You caused the wreck!” he screamed. “You killed them!”

Asra’s eyes were round and dewey. “Yes,” they replied.

“Killed them– so what? Gonna kill me too?” Julian let out a maniacal laugh. His chest heaved and it made his wound burn but he didn’t care. “You sick fucking freak! Healing me so you can eat me ‘whole’, isn’t that it?”

Asra shook their head. “No– no, not Julian, never Julian–”

“Then what makes me different?” the captain demanded.

Without another word, Asra hoisted themself out of the water, to sit beside Julian on the rock. Now their tail was laid out in its full opalescent glory. Asra inched forward, closer, closer, until they rested a gentle hand on Julian’s shin. Julian didn’t kick him away. Not yet. “Julian smelled so delectable,” Asra crooned.

“D-delectable?”

“His heart fluttered like bird’s wings, trying to fly away from me, as he bled onto my rock. It would be a waste… such a waste if I gave him to the ocean…” Asra added their other hand to stroke up and down Julian’s shin. He noted that Asra even licked their lips and he shuddered. “I knew I must have him for my home. For when I am hungry.” They pressed forward a little more, to rest between Julian’s legs, and Julian was too paralyzed to run again. “Julian’s life is mine. I saved it. I may take it. All mine.”

Julian could count the fluttering white eyelashes framing their purple irises. “S-so,” he stammered, “you are g-going to eat me?”

Asra giggled. It sounded like running water over smooth stones. “Julian won’t be eaten. No, no, no… he will stay. I will keep him.”

“Keep? How’re you going to do that?”

A cold hand pressed against his cheek. “The wound will bind Julian to me,” Asra cooed. “And when the wound leaves, Julian’s air-gills will bind him to me.”

Air-gills. Lungs.

Were they really so far underwater and away from land that the monster was confident Julian couldn’t swim away?

“R-right,” he said.

“I will hunt the finest fish for Julian. I will give him the prettiest shells I can find, all the treasures of the deep of sunken land-dwellers. But I do not want to give him up to the greedy water. I… would like him to stay with me. Safe. Mine. Away from the light and the tides.”

Now was the time to weigh his options. Asra looked so eager and determined to please, they might just explode with anger if he refused them. Besides, it wasn’t as if Julian was in any position to tell them no, thanks, he’d rather not be a slave to a fish.

So…

He smiled. “You’re very kind, Asra. Thank you for letting me stay with you.”

Asra let out another burbling giggle and gave Julian’s pale hooked nose a playful eskimo kiss before slipping back into the water. Julian could just make out the flash of a tail disappearing before he was alone again.

“Oh, Gods,” he groaned. “What have you gotten yourself into now, Devorak?”


	3. Chapter 3

This day was definitely not going according to plan. It was hard to tell what time it was, since the only light seemed to emanate from a source deep under the water, and Julian didn’t dare to try to swim there. For one thing, his wound still ached. For another, he wasn’t sure if Asra would be angry if he tried to move from his spot on the rock.

He only had a few feet of space to move around, and he could barely stand up at the highest part of the cave without his head brushing the ceiling. Thankfully, he was still wearing his boots and pants, which had dried out, but they were starting to get stiff and uncomfortable from crusted salt. Would Asra mind if he stripped? Probably not, but Julian might. 

While Asra was gone, he felt around the cave walls and ceiling for cracks, barnacles, jagged edges, anything he might use to his advantage. He found nothing.

Eventually he turned back to the water. It was his only way out now. He ran his fingers through, testing it– icy cold. Without proper protection, he might just freeze to death if his wound slowed him down enough.

Now the panic really set in. There really was no hope for Julian, was there? His crew was dead, possibly eaten by the monster keeping him hostage. Julian even realized, with a moan of distress, that the fabric keeping his wound together was taken from clothes of various members of his crew. It made him want to tear it off and watch it sink into the inky abyss. 

But of course he couldn’t do that. He had to stay alive, for them, for the memory of them. Otherwise he would have given up by now. For if he made it back to the mainland, he was the only one who could break the news, who could give them a proper funeral, who could soothe their grieving families. He wasn’t about to be fish food. Not if he could help it.

Speaking of which, he was still unclear what the monster’s plans with him were. Asra said something about ‘hunger’ and ‘delectable’, yet they insisted that they didn’t want to kill him. What the hell did that mean?

Splashing from far away. Julian’s ears and eyes were tuned to the darkness now and noticed every minute detail. He sat up from his lounging position just in time to see the familiar glowing eyes and coy smile rise from the depths. “Back already, Asra?” Julian remarked as nonchalantly as he could muster.

Asra beckoned him to come to the water’s edge with the curl of a finger, and Julian hastened to obey, crouching so close that the gentle waves lapped at his knees. “Julian was angry before,” Asra began, fidgeting nervously in the darkness. “Julian misses the other land-dwellers. I thought, maybe…” 

They lifted their hands from the water to Julian’s bewildered face. In Asra’s palms sat a delicate golden chain with a carved locket. “What’s this?” Julian asked.

“I went back to the dead ship to search… I thought Julian might like a friend.” Asra shook their head sadly. “I searched. All gone.”

Julian swallowed. “Oh. Well. Thanks for, uh, thinking of me.”

“One of the land-dwellers claimed by the ocean wore this around their neck. Would Julian like to keep it?”

He squinted. This action seemed… very considerate, in a way. “Why don’t you want it?” Julian said, pointing to the many mismatched necklaces around Asra’s neck, which were also probably stolen from shipwrecks.

“It is precious. Julian deserves a precious gift. Look.” Asra opened the locket. A tiny ring, small enough to fit a child’s hand, sat inside.

“Oh,” Julian breathed. “I– yes, that must have belonged to Helvella. She and her wife… she had a child back home…”

Asra closed it once more. “She left her young behind? To sail with Julian’s ship?”

“Yeah. For the money, you know. She manned the artillery… Gods…” Julian bowed his head, feeling like he might just cry again.

Asra mirrored his movements but it felt more like a mockery. It made Julian sick. He turned away from Asra, burying his face in his hands. “You killed her. You can’t act like you feel bad now.”

Julian shivered as a cold hand touched his bare back. “I cannot bring them back, Julian,” Asra murmured.

“I know you can’t.”

“Then why–”

“Don’t you understand?” Julian barked, wincing away from Asra’s fingers. “You separated a child from one of their parents! You took away a woman’s lifelong partner! You– you–” he wrestled with his words, finally settling for snarling, “ _you disgust me_.”

A cold wet softness settled against Julian’s back. “Julian,” a pair of lips whimpered against his skin, “I’m sorry.”

Julian shuddered again. He had run out of room to escape to on the rock and he was trapped against Asra’s chest. “Forgive me if I don’t take the word of a fish,” he growled.

Something slick and smooth curled around Julian’s ankle. He glanced down, and, to his horror, the tips of a white tail had coiled around him. “I was hungry,” Asra whined, cool breath pricking goosebumps on Julian’s shoulder. “So hungry. The fish have grown scarce this season. When I saw Julian’s ship on the horizon, I approached, and smelled so many fresh land-dwellers, that I knew I must take the opportunity. So I brought them home.”

“Get off of me!” Julian tried to get up to shake his leg free, but Asra wrapped their arms around his chest, more powerful than they appeared, and held him close, desperate.

“The sharks and eels were grateful too. They postponed their plans to seek out a new home in favor of keeping the leftover feast.”

“I– don’t– _care_!”

“I won’t do it again!” Asra wailed, pressing their face into the crook of Julian’s neck to plead next to his ear. “I promise, Julian! I’ll be good!”

Slowly, Julian relaxed, chest heaving and hands twitching. Was this monster really trying to beg his forgiveness? He hadn’t heard that legend before. Maybe, just maybe, he could bargain for his freedom. “You need to let me go,” he muttered.

Asra clung tighter to him. The thin caudal fin released his ankle so that Asra’s lower half could snake around both his legs, tugging them together, not hard enough to hurt, enough to feel possessive. “Don’t want to,” they pouted.

“I can’t live down here with you. I’m a hu– a land-dweller. I dwell on land. You don’t really think I could just spend my days down here with you, do you?”

A pained squeak escaped Asra’s lips, muffled into the back of Julian’s neck. It was hard to keep from shivering now from Asra’s icy body surrounding him. “Not fair,” they replied at last.

“Do you think you could help me back to the surface?” Julian prompted, heart soaring.

Asra slid a hand down to the binding on his abdomen. “I promised to make Julian whole again,” they said. “Julian will leave when he is healed.”

The ex-captain let out a sigh of relief. “Yes– Gods, yes, okay, good. Thank you, Asra.”

“Thirst?”

“A bit. If you don’t mind.”

Asra unfurled their tail from Julian’s legs and their arms from his torso so they could slide back into the water. “And, uh,” Julian added loudly, peering down at the spot where Asra vanished, “no offense, but if you have a cup or something, I’d really appreciate it.”

Asra’s downy head popped up from the waves. He could swear the ends of the merperson’s hair droop with disappointment. “I do not taste good,” he said.

“Oh– no, no, you taste great– no– yes– I mean–” Julian sighed, not wanting to upset them further, and just landed on, “forget I said anything.”

Besides, he didn’t want to admit it, but Asra did taste good. Salty and sweet and as gentle as the rolling tide. (He would never say this out loud). Asra disappeared for a few moments more before re-emerging with a fond closed-lipped smile.

Now that Julian’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness, he could make out two bloodless fluttering gills on either side of Asra’s neck, partially obscured by jewelry, which may have been why he never noticed them before. Of course– the gills used to breathe underwater had to filter the salt that they took in. This meant that the water in his mouth and throat was fresh.

He allowed Asra to tilt his head back and repeat their ritual. Julian almost pulled away when he felt the tip of a tongue trace his lip but he fought the urge in favor of survival. When Asra’s mouth was dry– or as dry as it could be, he supposed– they sighed, lingering next to Julian’s lips. “I don’t suppose Julian could leave these behind,” they mused.

“Uh, what?” Julian pointed a confused finger at his own lips.

Asra nodded. “Though they might lose the charm… the warmth… if I kept them for myself…” Julian didn’t have time to react before he felt teeth nibbling and licking and tugging at his bottom lip. Heat spread through his cheeks and chest. He should push Asra away, back to the inky depths, yet here he was, pliant to his captor’s whims.

“Ahh– Asra, I–”

The merperson pulled away with a frightened gasp. “I’m sorry! I forgot to ask!”

“That wasn’t what I was going to say,” Julian replied with a chuckle, “but yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Asra’s purple eyes shone with the beginnings of tears. “Please forgive me,” they said.

“I– yeah, I forgive you. No harm done. It… felt nice. So. We’re all good.”

A frigid thumb traced the curve of his lip and he quieted at once. “I could pull Julian down,” Asra crooned. “Down, down, down, to the sand banks, and lay with him while the water wrenches his life away. I could feast on his flesh and use his bones to keep me company in the dark.”

Julian blinked. “Y-you could,” he repeated.

Asra nodded, leaning forward, touching their forehead to his. “But I would lose these,” they continued, prodding Julian’s lip with his index finger, and even touched the tip of his tongue. “And these.” They ran another thumb around to orbit his eyes. “I… like these. Very much. I like Julian alive. Warm.”

“Yeah? Good. I, er, I like being alive.”

They smiled. Did they think what they just said was romantic? They were definitely grinning in an expectant way as if they wanted Julian to applaud or something. 

So Julian cleared his throat and laid it on thick. “Thank you, Asra. I’m glad… you haven’t killed me. And won’t kill me. That’s generous of you considering– uh, considering your track record.”

He was afraid he might have gone too far when Asra kissed his lips once more. “I will hunt for something to eat. Stay, Julian.”

“Uh… whatever you say. Wouldn’t dream of leaving.” And it’s not as though he could leave, either, so the command was basically pointless.

Asra slipped back into the darkness, leaving Julian alone with his thoughts, all summing up to…

… _What the fuck just happened?_


	4. Chapter 4

Julian stared into the swirling water below him. Asra seemed to like him, _genuinely_ like him, and he wasn’t sure how scared he should be of that fact. Those haunting words seemed more like a threat than reassurance. He let out a tense sigh and ran his spindly fingers through his hair, which was matted with salt and woven with seaweed. In fact–

He tugged at a thin lock of his hair, a few inches up from his hairline. It was… braided. A tiny string of seaweed tied off the end. “You’ve gotta be kidding,” he chuckled. “Asra, you’re full of surprises.”

But then he snapped himself out of the fantasy of Asra sitting beside him, humming, delicate fingers running through Julian’s hair as he slept. No way was he going to fall for Asra’s tricks. He had to remain ever-vigilant if he had any hope of getting out alive.

Speaking of which, now that Asra was gone…

Julian hastily untied his boots and slipped off his pants, sighing at the relief. He had to be careful not to get his clothes wet or Asra might notice. And he had the strange and ominous feeling that he wouldn’t like Asra when they were angry.

He dipped his toes into the water, hissing at the sudden cold. Too late to turn back now. He took a deep breath and plunged in.

Julian had to act fast. The cold constricted his lungs and his injury burned from the salt and Asra could be back any minute. He whipped his head around in the water.

The cave was more like a chamber in a catacomb. Skulls and bones were placed in intricate patterns along the walls, all sucked clean of tissue. A few of them were decorated with trinkets– some bracelets, rings, and necklaces, but even broken pocketwatches, compasses, coins stuffed into eye sockets. Julian nearly inhaled water from the shock. He paddled upward once more to catch his breath before diving back down.

The cave continued farther through a claustrophobic passage in the rock, which Julian’s gangly limbs could fit through just fine. This room was a little brighter than the last one. Perhaps he was getting close to the exit. The walls here were decorated with tasteful shells of every color and size. Julian didn’t take time to look around– he only had so much breath. He swam around the corner.

No, this was darker, far darker. A pile of fine sand was carefully placed in the corner of the cave. This must be their bed, judging by the Asra-shaped indent, tail and all. But next to it, something shone, even in the dim light.

Julian inched forward. His lungs were beginning to ache but he had to know. Half-buried in the sand, he reached down to withdraw a knife.

The blade had a slight bend to it, as though it had hit a hard surface and its owner never bothered to straighten it out. Its hilt was simple and silver and, from what Julian knew, not Asra’s style.

It could come in handy in case Asra decided Julian would make a better snack than a pet.

He took the dagger with him as he swam back to the catacombs where he was kept. When he broke the surface of the water, he treasured every ounce of damp musty air. He raised one hand out of the water to try to see his prize more clearly.

Asra didn’t keep weapons anywhere else in the cave, at least not from what Julian saw. Why would they keep this measly thing if they had to defend themself against sharks and whatnot? It wouldn’t do much good against sharks. And anyway, it looked like it hadn’t been used in years, judging from the dullness of the blade.

A splashing sound. Water hitting rock. Julian scrambled onto his perch, stowing the dagger under his pants and boots and shoving the whole pile haphazardly into the corner.

A proud Asra broke the water’s surface. “I got–” But their face fell when they saw Julian dripping and shivering. “Julian? I said I would hunt for us. Julian stays here where it’s safe.”

Julian tried to reply but the sound got lost somewhere between his chattering teeth.

Concerned, Asra hopped up next to Julian, setting aside a fish that was clutched in their left hand. “I see. Land-dwellers do not like the cold.” They reached out for Julian, who was surprised to learn that this time Asra felt warm to the touch, and allowed them to bury their head in his chest and rest their lower body between his legs. Maybe it was because he was already frigid. “I would light a star if only I knew how,” Asra said.

“Y-you mean a fire? Y-yeah… it wouldn’t w-work in a cave anyway…”

“Why?”

Julian decided to skip giving the fish a full-on science lesson on oxygen and the properties of fire. “Well, I wouldn’t w-want to hurt you with it on accident,” he replied instead.

“Julian cares for me,” Asra murmured, smiling into Julian’s skin, running their warm hands over his clammy skin. “My Julian. I want him to be so happy.”

Julian bit his lip. The dagger under his boots nagged at his conscience. “I don’t mean to be picky or anything,” he remarked, voice steady once again from Asra’s soothing heat, “but, er, that’s a whole fish. I’ve never really eaten a whole fish… whole.”

Asra giggled and pulled away. “I will prepare it first. I have seen how land-dwellers eat their fish. No bones, yes? No scales? And no organs either?”

“Yep. Sounds about right.”

Asra sat, considering the fish beside them, tail curling in thought. “Ah, I have just the thing!” they exclaimed. “Wait!” They dove back into the cave.

Julian’s heart raced. Oh no. Asra didn’t mean the knife, did they? The knife that Julian just stole?

A banshee-like shriek rang through the entirety of the cave. Julian had never heard Asra sound so panicked. “No!” they screeched. “No! No no no no no!”

Julian’s heart raced. Maybe… he fucked up more than he thought.

Asra burst to the surface, spraying water everywhere. “Julian!” he sobbed. “Julian, I– I lost–”

“Asra, calm down, what is it?” Julian hushed, reaching out to bring Asra into his arms, trying not to sound or look guilty. Tears rolled thick and fast down Asra’s cheeks. The substance was a little more opaque and pearly than human tears.

“J-julian– h-his knife– the last trace I had– my past life–” They shook their head, clinging to Julian’s torso for dear life.

Julian narrowed his eyes. “His knife? _Whose_ knife, Asra? Does someone else live here?”

Asra shook their head again. “He,” they choked out, “he gave me the knife– as a gift– no! He lied!” They screeched again, shrill and high, before continuing to sob into Julian’s chest.

Julian was reminded forcefully of his younger sister, Portia, cradling her when she cried. He knew from experience all the best tactics to soothe someone in distress. He shushed Asra, wove his long fingers in their downy white curls, ran a finger up and down their pronounced spinal chord. And, maybe it was too much, but he felt compelled to sing them a lullaby in his native language. It was nowhere near Asra’s seductive melody. Julian was clumsy with his notes, sometimes flat. And yet, slowly, slowly, Asra melted into Julian’s embrace.

When Julian’s song was done he continued to stroke them with tender reverence. “Julian,” Asra slurred.

“It’s alright. You’re alright.”

He felt Asra’s eyelashes flutter against his skin. “Does Julian know how merpeople are made?” they murmured.

“Er– no, I don’t think so.”

“Merpeople start out human. We all do. It is a curse, to be this way. I miss the sun. I miss the light.” Asra sniffled, but continued. “To be a merperson, one must be betrayed by the one they love most and cast into the sea.”

What? Asra used to be human? Julian stared down at them in awe. “I don’t understand,” he said.

Asra looked up at him. “I gave him part of my heart.” They backed away and pointed at their heart, where the faintest whiteish scar was just visible. “And in return, he gave me that knife, and offered my body to the seas.”

The hairs on the back of Julian’s neck stood up. “You loved him,” he answered incredulously, “and… he killed you? And threw you into the ocean?”

Asra nodded. “I was dead… only for a moment,” they said, “when the water changed me. Took pity on me. The current reshaped my body for the depths.”

Julian swallowed a lump in his throat. He hadn’t expected this strange and tragic turn of events and his heart hurt for the merperson in his arms. “And… he killed you… with _that_ knife?” Julian clarified.

“Yes. I kept it… for him. Hoping he might come looking for it. Because… he still has my heart, Julian. I want him to give it back.” Asra returned to the safety of Julian’s arms, nuzzling their nose against his skin. “But now I have Julian’s heart. My Julian is far more precious.”

Julian’s heart hammered in his chest against Asra’s cheek. He felt so guilty, so helpless. “I won’t be here for forever,” he murmured.

“I know. But… long enough.” Asra planted a lingering kiss on Julian’s pulse. “Long enough to savor.”

He twirled Asra’s hair around his fingers. “Do you trust me, Asra?” he whispered.

“Yes, Julian,” Asra sang.

Julian sighed and tucked Asra closer into his body. Asra was so soft, so pliant for him, and there could be no harm in holding them just a little longer. “You can forget the knife, okay? I can skin and debone the fish myself. Let’s just… forget.”

“Yes, Julian.”

“Come up with me. Sit with me, yeah? Right here?” Julian scooted to the side so Asra could hop up, and even rest their head in his lap. He realized a little too late that all he was wearing was a thin pair of underpants. Asra’s plump lips curled in a smug catlike smile and their moonlight tail relaxed in a gentle curve around him. The ex-captain longed to lean down and kiss them once more. “I’m sorry about him,” he added gently.

“The past is the past. I even forgot his name, very long ago. All I have is the knife he bestowed in my chest.”

“It’s a good thing you lost it, then, yeah? You can just… move on now. Get on with your life.” Julian brushed stray curls of hair from Asra’s face with a comforting smile. 

Asra caught his fingers between their teeth, grinning and nibbling at his skin, sparking a blush at the tip of Julian’s pale nose and spreading across his cheeks. They released him only to reply, “does Julian trust me?”

 _Don’t make me lie to you. Don’t make me hurt you._ “Of course I trust you, Asra.”

Asra rearranged themself so they were seated comfortably on Julian’s narrow lap. They leaned into the crook of Julian’s bony neck, breathing, “I am so hungry, Julian. I would like to taste now.”

Their hands slithered up Julian’s sides, one cupping the back of his neck, while Julian stammered overhead. “Er– I don’t– I don’t know what you–”

“Julian trusts me,” they cooed. Asra kissed a gentle line along Julian’s collarbone. Their tongue darted between their teeth to sample the skin stretched along the ridge of bone. It was all Julian could do not to moan out loud right then.

“Asra, I– ahh–”

Asra latched their lips around his collarbone and began to suck at the skin. The pain blossomed into pleasure in a matter of seconds. Julian hadn’t realized he had arched his back up to meet Asra’s greedy mouth, hadn’t even known that his hands found their way to hold Asra by the waist. “Nn– Asra _agh_ –” He felt the familiar smooth scales coil around his back to trap him. The feather-light ruffles at the ends of Asra’s tail teased and tickled his bare arm.

When Asra removed their mouth from him, he was panting as though he just finished a marathon. _It was just a kiss, Devorak, just a kiss, you shouldn’t be this horny!_ Asra batted their snowy eyelashes at him. “Would Julian let Asra share his rock tonight?” they asked.

“S-sure. Anything.”

Asra reached around with their fins to flick the fish carcass back to the water. “I’ll clean it tomorrow,” they added with a playful smirk. “I’ll bring Julian an even tastier one.” The merperson uncoiled their tail from around Julian so they could push him to the ground. Unfortunately, Julian’s skull hit the rock with a dull crack, and Asra gasped. “Ah– I’m sorry! I forgot! Skulls are soft!” They gazed around the cave, then settled on the boots set next to the pants. “Something softer–?” Asra reached out.

“No!” Julian cried, seizing Asra’s wrist. If Asra so much as caught a glimpse of the knife hidden under the cloth, he was done for. Asra blinked down at him.

“I want Julian to be comfortable,” they protested.

“I– I am! Look! I’m as cozy as a– uh, a bug in a rug!” Julian hastily rearranged his arms to rest under his head, flashing a lazy grin. “See? C’mere, Asra.”

Asra smiled and hummed the prelude of an ethereal lullaby as they rested their head upon his chest. Their tail wrapped once, twice, thrice, around Julian’s legs, soft as silk. “Sleep now,” Asra coaxed, drawing circles on Julian’s skin with their fingers. “Dream of pretty things.”

And Julian did. At first.


	5. Chapter 5

His dreams started out just fine; sweet, even. He was walking with Asra– yes, walking, Asra had long legs hidden in a pair of fetching black pants and knee-high boots that suited them well– along an unfamiliar street. They were talking about something that made Asra laugh. It was nighttime. Stars flickered overhead and cast Asra in an ethereal silver light that suited them so very well. Julian wanted to kiss them.

And then the blood came.

Julian leapt backward as Asra stopped dead in their tracks, eyes widening, turning their head to stare at Julian in horror as blood seeped into their white linen shirt, just over their chest. It bloomed like a flower and dripped down. Desperately, Julian tried to stop it, pulling Asra’s shirt up to examine the wound, but the blood became a living thing, sliding into his mouth, choking him, killing him.

“Julian’s fault,” Asra said overhead.

He shook his head frantically, trying simultaneously to get closer and escape. Black dots popped in his vision.

And then he woke up with a gasp.

He took a few shuddering breaths before he noticed Asra staring at him from their position on his chest. “Julian?” they asked. “What is the matter? Julian was asleep when he started twitching and shaking.”

“Ah… nightmare. Don’t worry.”

Asra shifted up so they could kiss Julian’s lips. “I could sing Julian back into slumber,” they offered.

“Er, no, that’s… that’s alright. I think I just need something to eat.” On cue, his stomach growled, making Asra giggle.

Asra uncoiled their tail from around Julian’s legs. “I will hunt. I will find something even better than before to give my Julian strength to recover. Will Julian wait?”

“Yeah, Julian’ll wait,” he replied with a grin.

The merperson pecked his lips once more before slipping away into the water.

Julian waited a few seconds before the telltale sounds of Asra’s swimming faded away, before diving back for his unfolded pants, and underneath them, the knife. He let out a sigh of relief as his fist closed around the hilt. If Asra had found it, he would be dead by now.

But… what was he supposed to do with it now? He wanted to put his pants back on– at some point, at least– but he needed to keep the knife close by and hidden. Of course, he could put it back where he found it, but surely Asra would be suspicious if their most precious treasure disappeared and reappeared in a matter of– minutes? Hours? Julian couldn’t tell the time if his life depended on it. Which… it might.

He stowed the knife back under his pants for now. While Asra was gone, he needed to do some more exploring, and be certain this time not to touch anything he wasn’t supposed to. Julian inhaled a great lungful of air and slipped into the ocean once more.

This time, he examined the wall for any more passages, and, sure enough, a small tunnel on the far side of the cave led downward. He swam down, pushing himself along the rock to move faster. The water grew steadily lighter as he swam. After a few feet, the passage widened. This– this must be freedom!

A carefully woven curtain of seaweed fluttered in the current over the exit. Julian brushed it aside.

The sea lay beyond. Open, infinite, and so, so much brighter than the cave. Julian gave himself a few seconds to bask in the light. It was almost as good as being back under the sky, or so he convinced himself.

He squinted. There was something dark coming forward. It was too large to be Asra, and a little too thin, but it moved in a similar snakelike way through the water. Julian watched in wonderment. The thing had an ugly jaw, jagged teeth folded over its upper lip, and sleek black scales. An eel.

But it didn’t stop at the sight of him. On the contrary, it seemed to be… coming right for him. 

Julian stumbled back behind the curtain and retreated to the safety of Asra’s cave as quick as he could swim. It didn’t take long before he was back in the bone chamber. His head broke the water, and, relieved, he gulped down the air.

“Ow!” he barked. Something was biting his ankle. He ducked his head back underwater to see the eel latched onto his skin. It had to be– Gods, it had to be at least ten feet long! Julian kicked it away and tried to escape to his rock, but it came right back, getting a firm grip in his shin with its terrible teeth.

He paddled back up to the surface, so at least he could breathe. “Get off!” he bellowed. “Get off, you big ugly thing!”

Julian learned two things from this action: one, eels did not speak, and two, they did not care to try. He hissed through his teeth. The lack of water and food had weakened him and the current blood loss wasn’t helping. In one last desperate attempt, he heaved himself to the side, fumbled for his pants, and found the familiar knife.

He smirked. “Nice try. Too bad your whole body is made of neck, or you might’ve had a chance!” Julian swiped the knife down. The force of the water kept most of the swing back, but the blade met its mark all the same with enough power to scare it off. Julian jumped away onto the rock. “Yeah!” he taunted. “Can’t get up here, can ya?”

The eel lifted its disgusting head above the water to glower at him. It tried to snap at him, as close as it could get, and Julian laughed in its face. “Want some more?” he mocked. Now that he was out in the open air, he could move with ease, and when he brought the knife down, it was quick and true. The blade hit the eel right between the eyes. 

With a screech and a spurt of blood, the eel twitched a few times before growing limp. “Hah… that’s right…” Julian panted. “Not… not a chance…”

But then it disappeared in a flash of black. Julian blinked a few times. Wasn’t the eel just pinned to the rock by the point of his knife, dead as a doornail? He leaned closer to the ocean to catch a sign of what happened to it.

Two lovely purple eyes rose to meet him. Two purple eyes brimming with pearlescent tears.


	6. Chapter 6

“Asra!” Julian exclaimed. “I– the eel– it followed me–” 

But then his heart fell as he remembered the knife in his hand. His eyes widened, face paling even more than it already had, as he tried to hide the weapon behind his back in his hands. “Er– you’re back! S-so soon!”

“Julian’s blood called me to return,” Asra murmured.

He glanced at the wounds on his left leg, bright red against his white skin. “Oh… right, I– right. I forgot.” He swallowed and forced a smile. “I– I know you don’t like eels, Asra, so I wanted to get rid of it for you! That’s– that’s all!”

“Julian held me,” Asra whispered. “Julian told me pretty things. Julian… my Julian…”

“Asra, let me explain–”

Asra bared their teeth, hissing like an angered predator, eyes furrowing into deadly slits. Julian scrambled backward to the wall.

“Asra,” he gasped, “I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t know what it meant to you, I– I was just scared!”

“Julian didn’t ever trust me!” they shrieked. They raised their hands from the water, curled into claws, flexing their fingers.

Julian shook his head. “No, Asra, I do trust you, I trust you now!”

The monster hissed again and snatched at Julian’s wounded ankle, twisting it the wrong way, and Julian cried out in pain. “Julian wanted to take away my second chance! He wanted to take my heart and betray me!”

“No!”

They tugged so that Julian slid into the water with an undignified crash. The icy shock of the water and salt entering Julian’s fresh wounds wrenched the knife from his hands and allowed it to sink into Asra’s waiting grasp. “Asra,” Julian pleaded, “I never would have taken it if I didn’t know how important it was to you! And I never wanted to hurt you, I was afraid of– of sharks, you know, and–”

“Julian will never return to the surface,” Asra snarled, brandishing the knife and holding the point underwater against Julian’s chest. “I will eat him just like I ate his friends, but slowly, painfully, day by day, in every way that he fears the most.”

“Please listen to me!”

“And I will show him just how much of a monster he knows that I am!” The creature threw him back onto the rock with such force that his skull bounced off the wall. Julian groaned, dizzy, trying to gather himself, but he was already too late. A pair of hands wrapped around his foot and the sensitive crook of his knee. “My Julian’s skin is so lovely on my tongue,” they said. “And when I cleaned his wound of blood the first night, I sang with pleasure while it intoxicated me. But I have never tasted his flesh before for fear of upsetting him. How I wish I were an eel.”

Julian tried to push Asra away with what little strength he retained. “Asra! P-please!”

“Because Julian gave Mister Eel a bite, not me,” Asra hissed.

“Asra, I’ll make it up to you, I’ll prove myself–”

“I saved Julian’s life!” they bellowed. “And he gave me hate and lies in return!” Asra twisted Julian’s leg to expose the flesh on the underside of his shin. “Now, he will repay my mercy with his body. At least his body is honest. Soft flesh. Perfect for teeth.”

“ _Stop_!”

Asra bared their teeth, and Julian, heart beating out of his chest, resorted to desperate measures. He entwined his hands in Asra’s silky white hair.

To his surprise, Asra froze in place. They tensed, purple eyes flicking up to meet Julian’s grey ones, round and startled.

“I _was_ afraid of you at the beginning. I won’t deny it. I mean– Gods, I just woke up here after I lost everything– of course I’d be a little scared! And when I found out you caused the wreck, I thought you wouldn’t hesitate to kill me too. I hoped you wouldn’t, I prayed, but when you left, and I was strong enough, and I found it–” Julian sighed. “I took it. I never planned to use it unless I really had to. Of course, if I had known that it had sentimental value for you, I wouldn’t have touched it in the first place. I don’t like to upset you.” Hesitantly, he combed through Asra’s hair, and when they didn’t pull away or attack, he continued one finger down to trace their jaw. “I– I want to make you happy too. You aren’t a monster. You’re… _my Asra_.”

Had he gone too far? He was blushing at his own words. And yet… it was true. Julian knew it was true. He really did want Asra to be happy, not because he was scared for his own safety, but because he cared for them– their affection, their thoughtfulness, their longing for redemption. 

A tear streamed down Asra’s cheek. “Julian is lying,” they whimpered.

“No! I’m not! Asra, I know you’re trying to be better. You didn’t choose this life. All you ever wanted was love, right?”

At last, Asra nodded, biting their lip.

“I– I could give you my love. If you’d like. I mean– if you’re fine with that.” He felt himself blushing again and had to avert his eyes. “Not sure how that’d work, to be honest, now that I’m thinking about it, but– hey, it’d be worth it. Think of how jealous everyone back home would be if they found out I was dating a merperson!”

Asra’s hands slipped from Julian’s skin. The knife in their hand clattered to the stone. Without another warning, they dove back into the water with a dramatic splash. “Er– Asra?” Julian asked. “Did I– did I say something wrong? I’m sorry if I did, I just–”

Faint splashing. Some kind of metallic clinking. Asra resurfaced, bearing a familiar golden chain in their hands. “I kept this… in case Julian changed his mind…” They offered it up with a shy blush.

Julian’s heart fluttered. “Helvella’s locket. I thought you would’ve thrown it away or– given it to a skull, or something.”

“It seemed important to Julian, so I could never throw it away. It is too precious. Perhaps… he could wear it… for me…?”

Julian had to smile. Asra seemed so flustered and ashamed, so unlike them. He plucked the necklace from their hands without hesitation and looped it around his neck. “What do you think?” he asked. It was a little odd thinking he took the necklace from a dead woman but he was thankful he could at least bring a trace of her back home. “How do I look?”

Asra sank into the water so only his eyes were visible. “Pretty,” he gurgled.

“You think so? Then come here so I can thank you properly.” He beckoned to Asra and wiggled his eyebrows.

It was adorable watching Asra approach with that bright blush and worried eyes. They rose just enough to show him their plush lips, pursed with anxiety. “I’m sorry,” they gurgled. “I should not have lost my temper. I promised Julian that I would never harm him and I almost went back on my word.”

“Come here.” Julian tucked a careful finger under Asra’s chin to pull them up onto the rock with him. “That’s it. Don’t be scared,” he soothed. The merperson slid between his legs, leaning closer, closer, as if pulled in by a tide. Asra ran their hands up Julian’s torso and rested them on either side of his neck.

“Don’t leave,” they whined. “Please don’t leave. I’ll do anything for Julian if only he stays a little longer.”

Julian stroked up and down Asra’s back. “I never told you I was leaving, did I? I said that I’d stay until my wound healed.”

“Julian swam out of the cave. Julian… could swim back to land… if he wanted to.” Tears welled in their eyes again. “I wish I could hurt him. I wish I could tear his limbs away, and suck the marrow from the bones… but Julian knows I cannot.”

“Yes, I know. I believe you.”

Asra nuzzled his face into Julian’s neck. “I wish… I could follow him. Up, up to the surface, to the land.”

Julian pondered these words. Maybe… just maybe… “I was on course for a city called Vesuvia before the shipwreck. If you took me there, I have a friend there who might be able to help you.”

“Help… me?”

“He’s a magician. And I don’t believe in all that magic hocus-pocus, but I know for a damn fact that the science I studied can’t change–” he gestured up and down to Asra’s tail– “that. But I bet he can. Magic is weird but it works.”

Asra twisted their tail so it curled around Julian’s foot. “I could trade this… for what you have,” Asra clarified.

“That’s right. Legs.” Julian brought a gentle hand down to stroke Asra’s scales. “If you’re serious about living on land with me, anyway… I’ll help you.”

The merperson placed a hand on Julian’s bare leg. They stared at his pale skin, stroking it, contemplating. “Really? Julian would do that for me? Give me… legs?”

“Of course Julian would do that for you. Julian wants you to be happy.” _Oh Gods, they’re rubbing off on me. I’ve been conditioned to refer to myself in the third person!_ He blushed and leaned down to kiss the top of Asra’s head. “I can see it now,” he remarked with a grin. “Walking side by side down the street, holding hands… I could show you so much on land. You wouldn’t have to eat people anymore. You could eat… I dunno, bread. At least something that doesn’t have feelings.”

Asra smiled back. “What is walking?”

Julian sighed. “We have a long way to go, huh? I guess we’ve got time while these bites heal.”

Asra must have forgotten about the eel bites because they gasped and jumped back as though they were afraid they might hurt Julian just by being in close proximity. “Yes, yes, of course!” They inched forward once again, fidgeting. “May I… clean the wounds?”

Didn’t Asra say something about that earlier? But they looked so eager to please… Julian nodded encouragingly. Asra sighed with relief, pulling Julian’s leg up to their mouth by his foot, and latching their lips to the wound.

_Oh._

Julian bit back an undignified moan that had begun to rise in his throat. “I– r-right,” he groaned as pain surged through his leg. “Okay. Yeah. This is fine. This is… ah…”

“Does Julian need me to be more gentle?” Asra murmured against the bite mark.

“N-no. It’s… it’s good. Feels good.” Julian blushed and looked away. He wasn’t planning on sharing his masochistic tendencies this early on, but what the hell?

His heart raced as Asra laughed before continuing their work.


	7. Chapter 7

It didn’t take long for Asra to finish “cleaning” Julian’s bite marks, and since they had run out of clean cloth, they decided to just let the wounds heal on their own– they weren’t that deep anyway. The next hour or so passed in wondrous excitement. Asra asked Julian every question under the sun, wide-eyed and eager, until Julian finally burst out, “you were a human, weren’t you? Surely you remember _some_ things?”

“It was so long ago… the water wiped Asra’s memories away in exchange for their tail and gills. All that remained were songs.”

“Songs, eh…?” Julian scratched his chin in thought. “You know, I know how to play the fiddle… just a bit, mind you… enough to play along with a singer. We might just be able to make it a duet. What do you think?”

Asra sighed and nearly swooned into the rock. “ _Julian_ ,” they sang.

“You like that idea?”

“Very much, yes!”

“That’ll be one of the first things we do, then. I’ll rent a fiddle and perform with you somewhere. First, though, you need clothes.”

Asra cocked their head. “Clothes?”

“Yeah, like these.” Julian showed them his pants in a puddle on the ground next to his boots. “They cover you up. Pants, skirts, shorts, tights– I’d buy you a dress, if you’d like. It might be the most familiar to you.”

“Clothes…” There was a moment of quiet while Asra tried to comprehend this, then, out of the blue, reached out and tugged at Julian’s boxer briefs. “Like these?” they asked.

Julian squirmed away. “Ah– yep, kinda like these. Humans like to cover their skin. It makes us feel protected.”

“Protected…” Asra mused. “Like scales… that one could shed as they pleased…”

“Just like that! You’re getting the hang of this just fine.”

But then Asra groaned and flopped back on the rock dramatically, flapping their tail and splaying their arms. “This is too hard!” they cried. “Humans have so many rules! Why can’t I just… see what happens if I do not Clothes and have fun singing with Julian?”

Julian smirked. “Not that I wouldn’t love to see that, but I don’t really want to draw attention to us. I’m not exactly the most reputable guy.” Asra turned their head to stare questioningly at him until he continued, a little bashful. “I mean, I’m… technically a smuggler. The things I sell– sold– are illegal. And, I hate to admit it, but I have a lot of enemies.”

“I will protect you.”

“Asra, no, I’ll be fine, we won’t have to fight as long as we lay low and stay out of trouble. Which,” Julian added with a sigh, “I hate even saying that, because usually I’m seeking out trouble… but I don’t want you to get hurt. Okay?”

“Yes, Julian. I will be good.”

Julian hesitated, not sure how Asra would react to his words, but decided to plow on ahead. “My wounds really aren’t that bad,” he remarked. “And with your help… I bet it wouldn’t be much trouble to get to Vesuvia… now. I can direct you as long as I can see the sky.”

Asra, too, wasn’t sure how they were reacting. They blinked a few times and pursed their lips. “I do want to see the land,” they said. “I want to… walk. With Julian. I want to be a land-dweller again. I’m sure that way, I could reclaim my heart.” They sat up, nuzzling their cheek into Julian’s shoulder like an affectionate housecat. “But… Julian could get hurt. I want to keep Julian safe. Keep… him.” They wrapped their hands around his bicep and kissed him. “The land is unfamiliar to me and I cannot stay as close to him as I would like.”

“Then I guess it’ll be my turn to keep you safe, huh?” Julian teased.

“Julian can’t keep Asra safe,” Asra mumbled. “Julian is a feeble man. All skin and bones, no muscle.”

“Wuh– _hey_!”

Asra raised their head just enough so Julian could see the mischievous sneer on their lips. “Ohhhh, alright,” Julian replied with a loud scoff, “I see how it is now. The high and mighty Asra thinks that I can’t handle them.”

“I don’t _think_ , Julian, I _know_.” Asra kissed his skin again to show they meant no harm.

“So… do you think we could leave for Vesuvia very soon?”

They furrowed their brow. “I suppose… the longer Julian stays here, the unhealthier he becomes. Land-dwellers require food, water, sunlight, and fresh air to be happy.” _Wasn’t that plants? Julian decided not to correct them since this was still technically true._ “And I want Julian to be happy. I want to be happy with Julian! I wish to travel with him to the place of land-dwellers and walk and sing!”

Julian grinned and wrapped his long arms around Asra’s waist. “Thank you, Asra. You won’t regret it, I promise!”

“Shall we leave now? Is Julian ready?” they exclaimed.

“No offense, but I’ve been ready to go for a long time. This place is starting to make me claustrophobic.”

Asra slid into the water first, and Julian could see glimmers of their tail flashing in the dark. “Uh– what are you doing?” he called, voice reverberating around the rock.

The familiar fluffy head popped up. “Land-dwellers value these shiny circles, do they not?” They raised a golden coin out of the water.

“Oh… right, we do. And I’m broke since my ship sank. Good thinking.”

Asra’s hums floated up to the surface as they gathered their gold pieces. It was funny to think that money had no power over this merperson, and that on the contrary, the said merperson only kept the gold because they thought it looked nice and shiny. While Asra prepared, Julian dipped his shins into the ocean to prepare for the cold. He decided against putting on his tattered boots and pants– they’d only weigh him down, and he could probably find a discarded cloak in the street to wear in the meantime while he found a place to stay.

Familiar cold fingers traced up from his feet to his knees. “Hello,” Asra crooned.

He smiled. “Hello yourself. Are you ready?”

“Ready. Come here.” Asra turned around so their glistening back faced him. Even though Asra wasn’t human, Julian felt a little skeptical that this smaller figure could carry him all the way back to the surface. As though Asra read his thoughts, they giggled and reassured him, “Julian is very light. I will have no trouble.”

So he slipped into the water, wrapping his arms around Asra’s neck. “Like this?” he asked into one of Asra’s many necklaces.

“Now hold on! I swim fast!” True to their word, they dove under the water and shot through the cavern passage with the speed of a bullet shot on a breezeless day. Julian had to squeeze his eyes closed and make an effort to keep water from flooding his nostrils. Then, all of a sudden, everything was bright and chilly and salty. Julian opened his eyes.

He was back.

The cloudless blue sky extended overhead for as far as the eye could see, dotted only by the occasional passing seabird. Light reflected off the sparkling water in dazzling wave after wave. For a moment, he had to squint as his eyes adjusted, and once the pain left, he let out a whooping laugh of joy. Gods, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy.

Asra reached around to touch Julian’s waist under the water. “Which way?” they asked.

“Oh– right, right. Let’s see… the sun is there… and if we’re still in the general area of the wreck… I’d say go straight, and a little to the left.”

The water rose up to Julian’s neck so that Asra could swim under the water at top speed. Julian hung on for dear life while wind whipped his face. It was a wonderful feeling, squinting his eyes against the salty air and sun, speeding over the waves as though he were flying. 

Asra paused to catch their breath (?) under the water. Panting, they raised their lips above the surface to mutter, “this seems familiar.”

“Familiar? How?”

They continued, but slower, so they could continue speaking. The outline of Vesuvia had already appeared in the distance– at least the outline of the palace, which could be seen from miles around. “Perhaps… I knew this place. Perhaps I was here,” they mused.

Julian’s eyes widened. If Asra had lived as a human before their body was thrown into the sea, the current just might have pulled them from the shallows of the Vesuvian beaches and deeper into the water. “What do you remember from your old life?” Julian asked gently. “Anything?”

“Er…” Even from behind, he could see them scrunch up their face in concentration while they swam. “Him… I remember him.”

“What did he look like?”

Asra screwed up their face even more. “Ah… dark eyes… very dark eyes, and…” They wailed into the sunlight. “It hurts! It hurts to remember!”

“O-okay, okay, you don’t have to.” Julian leaned into their neck and kissed between their necklaces.

They let out a sigh. “I am sorry… The water does not want me to think about him…”

“Then let’s think about something else. Do you remember the city?”

“Hmm… ah! Yes!” Asra perked up at once. “There were lights everywhere, all the time, not just the sun or moon! Fallen stars that the land dwellers kept in cages to keep the darkness at bay!”

Julian had come to understand Asra’s roundabout way of describing things and was able to decipher. “Like, lanterns?” he chuckled.

“Lanterns! That’s it!” Asra’s voice rose with excitement and Julian couldn’t help but smile into their shoulder. “Lanterns! Oh, and music– not just voices, but instruments! Drums and flutes and cellos! I never played, I always liked to listen. And–” They stopped swimming so they could gesture their happiness out with their hands. “I danced! That’s the word! Julian, I _danced_ to the music!”

“I’d love to see that.”

Asra’s laugh sounded like water trickling over smooth stones. “No more talking! We should hurry there!”

And before Julian could agree, Asra had ducked back under to continue their tireless pace, speeding towards the city in the distance.


	8. Chapter 8

It didn’t take very long at all to arrive at one of the beaches outside of the city. Julian directed Asra to one of the few beaches that wasn’t occupied by tourists, so he could avoid the inevitable possibility of parading Asra around like a circus attraction. He climbed off Asra and sloshed through the shallow water. His gangly legs wobbled like jelly. “Julian,” Asra called.

Julian turned around. “Yes?”

“Have you forgotten how to walk?” they teased.

Julian blushed and rolled his eyes. “It’s been a while,” he grumbled, “no thanks to you.” He clambered out of the water to shiver on the hot white sand. “Oof– forgot I’m nearly naked. Thank the gods it’s swimsuit season or I might get arrested.”

“Swimsuit… season?”

He turned around. Asra couldn’t come very close, since the sandy beach tapered off slow, and Asra had to remain in the deep end to maintain control of their tail. It was clear that Asra was missing their closeness already, as they drifted back and forth, observing him with weary amethyst eyes. Julian smiled and sat down in the sand. “I’ll meet you here tonight,” he promised. “That’ll give him enough time to– I don’t know, cast some sort of spell. Could I have some of those pretty circles you brought?”

Asra approached, bowing as close to the water as possible, until Julian could see their tail glimmering and coiling in the sunlight. They reached into a little woven kelp purse strung around their hips and withdrew a handful of coins. Julian plucked them from their hand. “I’ll stay,” they whispered.

“I know. And I’ll come for you. We’ll have the most glorious night, Asra, I give you my word.” Julian inched a little closer so his feet were submerged in the ebbing tide. “By the way, what would you like to wear?”

“Mm.” Asra pondered this question for a few seconds before replying, “what would Julian like me to wear?”

Julian swallowed down an extremely filthy answer and instead said, “oh, I don’t know… something comfortable. Whatever, er, makes you feel good.”

“Then I’d like something soft, please.” They pressed their lips to his heel under the water and his heart skipped a beat.

“R-right. Soft it is.” Julian stood up and stepped away from the water’s edge. Asra whined at once at the loss. “There’s no need to worry, Asra. I’ll come back for you as soon as I can.”

Asra pushed away back into the deep, watery eyes watching Julian as he backed away. The ex-captain raised Helvella’s necklace up to give it a gentle kiss, which made Asra’s face light up a bit, and they at last sank back into the sea.

With his affairs settled with the cute fish, Julian left the beach. He didn’t care that people were staring at him because he was free. He was walking on the street, something that he never expected he would be able to do again. The smell of trees and flowers married with the salty air to create a refreshing concoction.

The shop wasn’t far. It was his only connection in Vesuvia, and, while he and the magician weren’t exactly best friends, Julian was sure he would help him out if he offered enough money. Julian didn’t bother knocking as he opened the door.

Pascal Persephon glanced up from his seat behind the counter, took one good look at Julian’s naked body, and reverted his attention to the book he was reading with a sarcastic, “nice to see you too, Captain.”

Julian blushed and closed the door behind him. “Alright, I know this is a little out of the ordinary,” he admitted.

“You’re fucking naked, Julian,” Pascal interrupted coolly.

“Yes. Yes I am. But you won’t believe the reason why. You see–”

Pascal closed his book with a sigh. His dark brown bangs fluttered with the force of his exhale. “No offense, but could you put on some pants first?” he asked. “You can borrow something of mine. It might be a little short, but it’s something. I’d rather not be face-to-face with your nipples while you’re talking.”

Julian followed the magician up the stairs in the back of the shop to his private apartment. While Pascal dug through his chest of drawers for a shirt and pants, Julian began his story, starting of course with the deadly shipwreck.

Usually so calm and collected, Pascal grew more and more curious by the minute, until he was hanging onto Julian’s every word. A mermaid, a gorgeous one that ate humans and fish alike, had taken him in, fallen in love with him, and brought him back to the surface. “And this is where you come in,” Julian continued, now fully clothed in a pair of just-too-tight black pants and matching tunic. “They want to walk on land with me, Pascal. They want legs. You can do that, right?”

Pascal blinked once, twice. “Julian,” he remarked, “did you really think when you came here that I could transform a merperson’s tail into a pair of regular legs without any previous experience of dealing with magical creatures before?”

“Yes? That’s why I came to you first?”

They stared each other down. “Well. There’s a first time for everything,” Pascal conceded. He beckoned Julian to follow him downstairs. “I’ve never met one before,” he said, bending down behind the shop’s counter to rustle around for ingredients. “Did you say something about them being murdered?”

“Oh, yes. They were killed and their body was thrown into the ocean.”

Pascal paused in his searching. “Is that so,” he remarked, after a far-too-long moment of silence.

“And then they said the ocean… transformed them, somehow, it gave them a tail and gills and all that. You don’t know anything about… ocean magic, do you?”

“I’m afraid I don’t. But… I do have something of an idea about naturally occurring magic. There’s a theory that natural magic is all about balancing the odds– you know, an eye for an eye, that sort of thing.” Pascal popped back up over the top of the counter holding a gargantuan leatherbound book and placed it down as lightly as he could. He opened it and flipped through its contents, scanning with a trained eye. “And… if this merperson was transformed… I assume the magic would have taken their memories in exchange for their new appendages.”

Julian could barely stifle a yawn.

“What I mean is,” Pascal snapped, “if they got their memories back, they should become a human again, since their bargain would essentially be nullified.”

“Their memories,” Julian mused. He sat down next to the massive book on the counter to think. “Maybe… if we found the man who killed them… I mean, there can’t be anything more memory-jogging than that, right?”

“That could work.”

Julian peered at the text Pascal was pouring over, something in a language he didn’t recognize, which was a rarity for all the places he’d visited. “What about the legs situation?” he added.

“Legs… legs… it should be a pretty standard transmutation spell if we think about it in terms of changing a fish’s tail into legs… it would be temporary, of course, but until we found a permanent solution…

“So that’s a yes?”

Pascal looked up from the book. “You’re paying me for this, right?”

“Name your price and I’ll match it.”

Pascal raised his eyebrows and held out his hand for Julian to shake. “We have a deal, Captain. Come back in a couple of hours and I should have something ready.”


	9. Chapter 9

When Julin returned to the beach, armed with bags full of fresh-bought clothes, there was one jarring moment when he thought Asra might have left him after all. He called out for Asra, setting his haul on the beach, and peered around the surf desperately for any sign of them. After a few heart-pounding moments, the familiar downy head emerged from the waves and Julian sighed with relief.

“Was Julian worried?” they teased. They approached the shallow part of the beach on their elbows, close enough so they were an arm’s length away from Julian’s new boots. “I was worried too,” they confessed, reaching out to touch his foot.

“What did you do while I was gone?”

“I went treasure-hunting. There are so many discarded treasures in the shallows, I nearly forgot how land-dwellers like to throw these things away.” They lifted one of their hands out of the water to show Julian a glinting set of mismatched bangles.

“Ah, pretty.”

Asra chuckled and rolled over in the sand. “I was so lonely, so bored,” they moaned dramatically. The setting sun in the horizon made their skin glow gold in the hazy orange light and it was a sight to behold. “I waited and waited for Julian to come back to me…” They raised their arms over their head, fluttering their eyes closed, twisting their body in a kind of lazy dance to catch the light. 

Julian had to tear his eyes away with an embarrassed cough, reaching into one of the bags to fish around for Pascal’s gift. At the loss of his attention, Asra huffed and thrashed their tail in the tide. “I talked to my magician friend about you,” Julian began. “He told me that you just have to regain your memories from your time on land, and you’ll be completely human again. Until that time, we have a temporary solution.” From the bottom of the bag, Julian withdrew a crude dark necklace with clay runes threaded around.

“It isn’t very nice looking,” Asra pouted.

“But as long as you wear it, you’ll have legs– at least, I think that’s what he said. Its power remains as long as it’s still touching your skin.”

Asra stared up at it in wonderment. “Does Julian… want me to become all human?” they inquired.

Julian blushed. He sank, cross-legged, into the sand, inches away from Asra’s head. “I think that decision is up to you,” he said.

“But I want to stay with Julian.”

“W-well, Julian wants to stay with you too,” he found himself saying before he could stop the words from tumbling out. He took a deep breath to steady himself once more. “I mean– if… that’s alright with you. I s-suppose I’d like you to be a human… if… if you…”

Asra brought one gentle hand up to stroke Julian’s pale cheek. “Yes, Julian,” they whispered.

He couldn’t help himself. He bowed his head to kiss Asra’s lips.

Julian could have stayed that way for years on end. The orange radiance of the sunset warming his skin, the silky sand under his legs, the sound of the water lapping at the beach, and Asra, Asra, Asra. At some point he had shifted onto his hands and knees, half in the water, half out. The saltwater was going to ruin his new boots but he didn’t much care. Asra placed Julian’s spidery fingers on his torso to feel as they breathed in and out, together in tandem at each other’s mouths. 

They were kissing his neck now, and he could fly away with happiness. One of their hands raked nails up and down his spine. The other– where did the other go?

Asra pulled him down with the hand on his back, to gain better access to his neck. Thank the gods they were alone or the noises Julian made would have caused a sailor to blush. A leg dripping with cold stretched up to hook around Julian’s hips, a little shaky and unsure. Julian slid a hand down its thigh to reassure it and Asra moaned into his mouth.

Wait.

Julian opened his eyes and gasped. “Asra– Asra, you–”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” they whined. “Eyes closed! Go on!”

But Julian couldn’t stop himself from staring, first at the necklace around Asra’s neck that Asra must have stolen while he was distracted, and then down Asra’s torso to– “oh. Oh gods. Oh right.” He screwed his eyes closed and pushed himself away.

“Julian!”

“Asra, you’re– I can’t just–”

“Juuulian.” A very icy foot pawed at his chest and he shuddered.

“You– I c-can’t–”

“Why not?”

Julian clenched his fists. He was so, so aroused, it seemed incredibly unfair. “Asra… I can see your genitals.”

“Uh-huh?”

He was a little surprised that this wasn’t upsetting, but now he had to explain, and he felt his heart race. “A-asra, humans– land-dwellers– they don’t show their genitals. They just don’t. Only in private, and only to people they really trust. In the bag over there,” he said, pointing haphazardly in the general direction he remembered the bag sat, “there’s a skirt for you to put on.”

A grumpy little “harumph” sounded as Asra detangled themself from underneath him. There was a susurrus for a few moments, and then a confused, “Julian, I don’t understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“What is a skirt?”

“Oh… right. Uh, can I open my eyes?”

“Yes please.”

Julian’s eyes flew open. Asra was splayed out in the sand like a newborn deer, legs trembling and eyes round. It was so difficult to avert his eyes, especially when Asra got a little smirk on their face whenever he gave into temptation, but he tried his best to piece through the bag of clothes. “O-okay. These are underwear, you put them on first. One foot through each hole and pull it up to your hips.” He gave the underwear to Asra to fiddle with. “And this is a skirt. I thought a long skirt might be the most comfortable for you since it’s nice and breezy and easy to put on.”

“Hmm.”

Julian watched out of the corner of his eye as Asra wiggled into the underwear, then the skirt. He had picked this one for a reason– it was flowy and lavender and reminded him of Asra’s scales. Asra raised their eyebrows for his approval. “Right,” he said. “You look… nice.”

Asra tried standing upright, and almost immediately fell back down with a frustrated groan. “Legs are fickle,” they complained.

“Come here, I’ll help.” Julian stood up and offered his hands for Asra to take. He helped tug them up, and held them up, while Asra’s knees buckled and shook under their skirt. “Try to straighten them out. Balance your weight.”

They took a shuddering breath and separated their legs, locking their eyes with his, and a grin spread across their face. “Like this?”

“Just like that!” Julian bent down and released one of Asra’s hands to grab a silky shirt from the ground. “Here, put your hands over your head.” He helped wrestle the shirt, simple and white, over Asra’s head, then fixed their necklaces to drape over the cloth. 

Asra took an uncertain step forward and collapsed, giggling, into Julian’s arms. “Julian!” they exclaimed.

“What are you doing?” he chuckled.

“Walking!” they said. “Let’s go! I want to see the city!”

“Ah-ah. You need shoes first.”

“Ughhhh.”

“Come on, you don’t want to hurt your feet,” Julian admonished. He tried to keep a hold on Asra while stooping down to set out a pair of sandals. “Step into them. Slip this part between your toes.”

Asra followed his instructions, toes wiggling and curling at the sensation. They took a few hesitant steps around in a circle. “This is slow,” they said.

“Slow?”

They nodded. “Swimming is so fast and efficient. How do land-dwellers live like this every day?”

“I really don’t know.” Julian stowed the empty bag in his pocket and offered Asra his hand, which they took in both their own and kissed at once. He smiled and ushered them up the beach, walking slow to allow Asra to adjust to their heels sinking into the sand and the way their knees nearly buckled with every other step. It was a little satisfying to see Asra so out of their element. They were usually so sure and confident, and now they hung on to Julian for dear life.

The height difference was amusing too. Julian knew he was an unusually tall man, but Asra was just a little shorter than normal, and it made him smile to think how small Asra really was compared to him. It was hard to recall why he was so scared of them at the beginning.

“Julian, I am hungry,” Asra remarked.

Julian’s heart skipped a beat. Now, it seemed, was the time to tell Asra that eating humans was frowned upon. “Let’s… get you something, then…” he said.

“Julian wouldn’t mind if I had a snack?”

“Let’s define what a snack is.” Julian took a deep breath, and finally told them, “Asra, you can’t eat anybody.”

Asra’s face fell. “Why? I’ll eat a human that Julian doesn’t like.”

“That– that isn’t– no. Here.” He dragged Asra over to a travelling stall with a sign hanging over the roof for fresh meat. “On land, humans don’t eat other humans. We eat other animals– or plants. Like fish, or cows, or goats, or birds.”

They peered at the sizzling meat on the barbeque, sniffing with hesitancy. “That… seems like a waste of good food.”

Julian sighed. “Let me show you.” He handed a few coins from his pocket to the vendor, who traded him for a steaming brown kebab that shone with sauce. Asra watched the transaction in wonderment. “Try this,” he offered, handing the skewer to Asra, who took it with the tips of their fingers and turned it around in the air to examine it.

“It’s hot,” they noted.

“If you eat everything raw, you could get a disease. It’s safer this way.”

They squinted at it, then opened their mouth and slid nearly half the skewer in their mouth before closing down. A dreamy look glazed over their eyes. They removed the skewer, chewing.

“Good?” Julian asked.

“Mmm.” They swallowed and finished off the rest of the meat from the skewer in one big bite. Once they were done, they grinned and said, “another!”

“Not yet. There’s a lot more to see and a lot more to eat.” Julian led them away from the cart with a bemused smile. He could hardly wait until they saw the marketplace.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time they got out of the maze of stalls, the sky was far darker and Julian’s pockets were considerably lighter. Asra had sampled nearly one of every kind of food offered, ranging from meats, to breads, to vegetables and fruits, in no logical order. Every so often Asra would offer Julian a bite but otherwise they hoarded their treats to themself. When Asra finally announced they were full, the moon was high in the sky, and they dragged their feet with weariness. Their final dish (a cup of frozen honeyed custard) was still clutched in their hand.

“Julian,” they slurred, leaning into Julian’s arm for support.

“Are you finally done?” Julian teased.

“Yesss. I’m so full of happy things, I could burst.” They had to jump up to kiss Julian’s lips. Asra was sticky and sweet and Julian wanted more, but they were already burying their face in his side as they walked, so Julian settled for looping an arm around their shoulders. “Julian,” they said, muffled into his shirt, “I want to sleep.”

Julian plucked the empty cup out of their hand and discarded it. “Come back to the shop with me. We can kick my friend out of his bed for a night so you can use it.”

Asra glanced up into his face. “With Julian?”

“Uh…”

“I want to sleep with Julian.”

Even though his mouth was empty, he spluttered and stuttered and tried to hide his blush. “Asra, I– d-do you mean like– uh–”

“Like what?”

Julian took a deep breath to steady himself. He looked down to meet Asra’s eyes. “Do you want to have sexual intercourse with me?” he asked.

Asra blinked a few times, then burst out laughing. “Julian!” they exclaimed.

“W-well, I’m just wondering!”

With a mischievous smirk, Asra wiggled free of Julian’s grip and circled him as he walked like a predator stalking its prey. Julian watched wearily. Their eyes, he noticed, didn’t seem to reflect in the dark like they did when they first met. Now that they were steady on their feet they were light and agile as a panther.

“What are you doing?” Julian remarked. “Didn’t you want to go back to the shop?”

“Yes… soon.” Asra ran their fingertips across Julian’s flushed cheek, smiling at the effect they had on him. They brushed against his hips, his hand, his back, and Julian had to stop in his tracks to conceal his arousal.

He reached out to catch them in his arms and pull them, squirming and giggling, into his embrace. “Stay still,” he ordered gruffly. “Please. You’re too much.”

“Julian wants to mate me,” they sang into his shirt.

“I– I wouldn’t– m-mate– not unless you–”

Asra kissed his chest. He could feel the warmth through the fabric and yearned for more. “Will we be alone at the shop?” they inquired.

“Ah. Y-yes. Er, once I get my friend to leave.”

“Then I will make Julian mine tonight, under the light of the waxing moon. I will take him sweet and soft and taste everything he has to offer.” They resumed their position by his side as though nothing happened and gave him a little push to continue their strolling.

Julian was sure his face couldn’t get any redder. How the hell could Asra stay so calm after saying something like that? What was he supposed to say in response? He was shaking all over like a leaf in the wind, even as he resumed his walking back to the shop. Julian had to blink image after image away, ones that made him feel ashamed to be walking by Asra’s side in the street. “It– it’s just over here,” he muttered, steering Asra around the corner and pointing to the storefront. 

Asra stopped, scrutinizing the sign, then the door, and finally the windows. “Julian,” they whispered.

“Yes?”

“I… know this place.”

“You do? Then maybe you’ll know the owner.” Julian opened the door for Asra, who stepped inside, and Julian closed the door behind.

“We’re closed!” Pascal’s voice floated down from his flat upstairs.

“It’s me!” Julian yelled back. “Come down!”

“Come up here!”

Julian chuckled. “We would, but I don’t think Asra knows how to use the stairs!”

A loud clattering sounded from upstairs, like something heavy being dropped, and then a rustling. Julian felt a tug on his sleeve and he looked down to see Asra, who, to his horror, looked like they might faint. Their eyes were wide as they watched the stairs. The hand gripping his sleeve was taut and white. “Asra?” Julian asked, trying to pull them into his arms. “Asra, are you–”

Asra shoved him away with surprising strength. They didn’t hesitate any longer in sprinting to the foot of the stairs, just in time to meet Pascal, who was halfway down when they saw each other and froze. Pascal clapped a hand over his mouth. “Asra– Asra, I– you’re–”

“ _You_ ,” Asra snarled.

Pascal made a motion to try to back up, but tripped on the step and half-collapsed on the incline. “How are you still alive?” he whispered. “How– how is this possible?”

Asra let out a high, mirthless laugh, one that Julian never guessed could have come from their lips, one that sent chills down his spine. “Pascal Persephon,” Asra mocked. “The apprentice who betrayed his master.”

“I regretted it the minute I did it,” Pascal pleaded.

“Death is irreversible,” Asra said, climbing up the stairs one by one, using the bannisters for support. “Asra Alnazar is dead. You killed him.”

Pascal tried to get back up, but Asra grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him down, banging his head on the stairs. Just as Pascal put his arms up to fight back, Asra’s hands found his face, tracing his jaw, around his lips.

And then there was music. Gorgeous, haunting, hypnotizing, filling every inch of open air. Pascal’s hands fell back, helpless to the power of the song. His dark eyes closed. Asra’s fingertips traced down to Pascal’s collar to undo the buttons of his shirt, one, two, three. With an icy grin, teeth glinting in the lamplight, they cradled Pascal’s head in their hand to tilt it backward and expose his neck.

Julian snapped himself out of his daze. Because he knew that look, and he knew what would come next. The music relinquished its hold on him as dreadful realization set in. He stumbled to the stairs, screaming out, “stop!”

Asra’s singing ceased, mouth closed, tame and obedient. Their beautiful orchid eyes fixed with Julian’s. “Stop,” Julian panted. “C-come here, Asra. Please don’t hurt him. Come down here.”

Asra’s eyes widened again and a tear streamed down their cheek. “Is he… yours?” they choked out.

“What? No, Asra, you don’t understand–”

Both lovely eyes fell closed and Asra collapsed to the stairs beside Pascal, who simultaneously stirred and woke up from his trance. He lifted his head up to stare at Julian’s incredulous fear, then at Asra’s lifeless body, and swallowed. “So I might have something to explain to you,” he said.


	11. Chapter 11

Julian shooed Pascal away from Asra, even when Pascal protested, so he could pick Asra up and carry them to bed. Once Asra was safe on the mattress, Julian brushed the tear away from their cheek. Pascal stood at the head of the staircase to watch. “I know him better than you,” he shot.

“Then explain what just happened,” Julian retorted.

Pascal sighed. “It’s– it’s a long story. A few years ago, I met the Count– okay, maybe I should start–”

“Pascal, this year would be nice,” Julian interrupted.

“Fine! I’ll just…” Pascal grunted and approached the bed, pausing when Julian shifted to barricade Asra from him. “Do you want me to show you or not?” he demanded.

“Show me? Aren’t you telling me?”

Pascal shook his head. “I’m going to transfer my memory to you. It’s quicker that way.”

Julian had always been skeptical of magic, and now he was doubly paranoid from recent events, so he glared the magician down, who glared right back at him. “Julian,” Pascal said, “you want to understand, don’t you? Then let me do this.”

Julian cast a sidelong glance at Asra sleeping behind him. If it helped him understand Asra’s past– if it helped him shape Asra’s future for the better–

He gave a curt nod to Pascal, who extended his hands to touch Julian’s forehead. The cozy living space fell away into blackness.

-

_Pascal huffed, leaning forward over the shop counter inches from Asra’s face, and put on a smile positively dripping in sarcasm. “Well, pardon me for going against your wishes,_ master _.”_

_Asra scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. “I told you never to call me that. And I’m trying to look out for you.”_

_“Look out for me,” Pascal echoed in a singsong voice, reaching out and poking Asra’s nose a little too hard to be kind. “_ Please _. I never made any promises to you. We were never even together. We slept together, what, four times?”_

_“Five,” Asra grumbled._

_“Uh-huh. Five. Whatever. It’s in the past and I don’t really care anymore.”_

_“Pascal, I’m not saying this to you as a… lover. I’m saying this to you as an old friend. Somebody who cares for you and wants what’s best for you.” Asra took one of Pascal’s hands in both his own. “I know Lucio far better than you do. He will only use you for his own pleasure and throw you away when he tires of you.”_

_Pascal snapped his hand back. “Fuck, rub it in a little more, why don’t you,” he growled._

_“I’m serious. That man is dangerous.”_

_“I know.” Pascal leaned forward again to whisper in Asra’s ear. “_ I like that _.” He withdrew, strolling around the store counter, glaring Asra down. “Say I ignore you. Say I take Lucio’s offer to be a consort at the palace. What are you going to do about it?”_

_Asra narrowed his orchid eyes. Pascal could almost see the thoughts swirling around behind his irises. “I can’t let you do that,” Asra said quietly._

_“Can’t let me? What are you, seven?”_

_With a gesture of his fingers and a glance to the door, Asra pursed his lips, and Pascal heard the lock click. His eyes widened. “Are– are you serious? Lucio is waiting for me! This is an important dinner!” Pascal stormed past Asra to wrench at the door. “Let me out! Asra, let me out! He’ll be furious with me!”_

_Asra sighed. “I’m going to bed.”_

_“Don’t you dare! Get back here! My whole relationship is riding on this dinner, you bastard!”_

_Asra ran a downhearted hand through his fluffy curls and turned around. “You’ll cool off in the morning, Pascal,” he remarked. “You always do.”_

_“Fuck you!”_

_Pascal watched Asra trundle up to their shared living space. He groaned and tried the door once more, to no avail. Asra really wasn’t going to let him go. And if he broke his promise to Lucio, Lucio might break up with him, or worse, fire him. His entire life, everything he worked for– down the drain._

_Unless…_

_He reached into his belt and unsheathed a small silver dagger. It was supposed to be for emergencies, and this… this was something of an emergency, wasn’t it? Pascal glanced up to the second floor and grimaced._

_He would wait until Asra was asleep. That way he couldn’t fight back. And, since the sea was a short distance from the shop, he might as well tie weights to the body and sink him forever._

_Because Asra had disrupted his plans for the last time. It was time he should pay for it._

-

Julian gasped like he had just resurfaced from a pool of freezing water. He was back in his own mind and his own body and he flexed his fingers to make sure he wasn’t still dreaming. “That’s it,” he said. “You loved Lucio… and Asra loved you.”

Pascal nodded, making his way to sit next to Julian on the bed, but Julian thrust out a hand to stop him. “Come on!” Pascal protested.

“You killed him! If you think I’m letting you within five feet of him– he’s a he, right?”

Pascal rolled his eyes. “Yes, he’s a he. Nonbinary he to be exact.”

“If you think I’m letting you within five feet of him, you’ve got another thing coming!”

“I know you, Julian. You’re just jealous.”

Julian felt blood rush to his face. He placed a protective hand over one of Asra’s, as though he were hoping Asra might wake up and hold him back. “I’m not– not jealous– why would I be jealous? I’m not jealous!”

“Right,” Pascal grumbled. “Look, this whole romance you’ve cooked up with him has to end. You know that, right? He wasn’t a human when you met him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wants to move on from you and get on with his life.”

Julian looked down at Asra again and his heart fell. “Y-yes… I suppose…”

Pascal reached out to touch Asra as well, and this time, Julian made no movement to stop him approaching the head of the bed and stroking Asra’s cheek. He even knelt down on the floor so he was at Asra’s eye level. “You were right,” he whispered, lips brushing Asra’s skin. “Just like always. I nearly died from heartache and I wished I could take it back every day. But you’re here now. I’ll make things right, okay?” He caught Julian’s stare, raising his eyebrows just a little at the envious look on his pale pointed face. “I can handle this, you know. If you want to leave I wouldn’t mind.”

“I’m staying to make sure you don’t kill him a second time,” Julian snapped. “Besides, don’t you have to take care of Lucio?”

“We broke up a long time ago.”

“Of course you did,” Julian groaned.

Below them, Asra fidgeted in his sleep, and both men jumped to attention. His lips worried together before his eyes fluttered open, meeting Pascal’s eyes. Asra frantically pushed himself away. His gaze flicked from Pascal to Julian and back again. At last, he settled on addressing Pascal first, and Julian felt a twinge of jealousy. “I remember,” he said quietly.

“Everything?” Pascal clarified.

“I… think so.” Asra took a deep breath that shook him from head to toe before finishing, “I want you to leave.”

“Asra–”

“Just for tonight, Pascal. Please. I have a lot to think about.”

Pascal hesitated, then rose up from his position by the bed. “Alright. I’ll… come back later, then.” Without a backwards glance, he strode down the stairs, and Julian heard the telltale sound of a door closing.

Now they were alone. Asra still refused to look at Julian, instead glancing around Pascal’s apartment. “He hasn’t changed much,” he mused. “Some of this furniture is mine. I thought he would have sold it.”

“Asra, do you remember me?” Julian burst out.

At last, Asra turned his attention to Julian. He sat up a little straighter in bed, rearranging his skirt to cover his legs. “Yes,” he said.

“And are they, er… good memories?”

Asra blushed. “Yes, Julian.”

Those two words sent Julian into a spiraling panic of happy memories. He sank, weak-kneed, onto the mattress. “Asra, I– I care about you,” he began. “I’m sure you want to move on, and I understand, of course I do, but– if there’s anything I can do for you, really, anything, I’ll do it, I want to make you happy–”

Asra raised a hand to stop him and Julian fell silent at once. Asra sighed, running an anxious hand through his hair, avoiding Julian’s grey eyes once more. “You were so kind to me even when I dragged you under… I mean, Gods, I was a monster. I… I ate people! I feel sick just thinking about it!”

“Asra–”

“Yet I can’t stop thinking about it– I’m so hungry, Julian, even after all that food you gave me, and you’re just sitting there, and you smell so– ugh!” He buried his face in his hands. “I’m sorry. It was so much to take in, and I’m still… adjusting.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

Asra looked up from his hands. “Please don’t,” he whimpered.

“A-alright. Then I won’t. I’ll… uh… stay.” Julian attempted a comforting smile. “Can I make you something? Some tea maybe? Or if you’re in the mood for something stronger, I know where Pascal hides his flasks.”

Asra tried to smile as well. “Yes… I do too. And Julian, I don’t want you to feel obligated to protect me. You can be with him. I’m sure he’s changed.”

The words took a few seconds to sink in, and when they finally did, Julian yelped, springing forward and yelping, “we aren’t together! We’re friends– we were friends! I won’t even look at him if you don’t want me to!”

“Julian, I told you that you have no obligation to me. _I_ pushed myself on _you_.”

Julian shook his head with as much violence as he could muster. “Asra, it isn’t like that, I promise! I love you!”

Both of them froze at his words. Julian felt his heart skip a beat as he watched Asra’s face. What was he thinking? Was he happy? Angry? Julian opened his mouth to speak again, but Asra reached up to touch Julian’s cheek. He was so uncharacteristically… warm. Human. Julian leaned into his touch as though he was starving for it. “Don’t you know what I’ve done?” Asra murmured. “How many people I’ve killed? I even killed your friends, people you worked with.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

Asra shook his head, adding his other hand to Julian’s other cheek, and his eyes sparkled with tears as though he were pleading for his life. “You should despise me. You should fear me. You should leave me just like he did.”

“Asra,” Julian soothed, “I could never hate you. I know that your intentions are and always have been good and honest.” He placed a cautious hand over Asra’s chest. Asra didn’t pull away. “And I really do love you. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” Asra grinned and craned his neck to whisper in his ear, “my Julian is so good to me.”

Julian chuckled but he felt a blush paint his cheeks all the same. “You, ah, wouldn’t happen to remember why you were so fond of referring to me in the third person?”

“It was respect, I think. I respected you so I wanted to address you by something more formal than ‘you’. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, it does.”

Asra nuzzled his face into Julian’s neck and trailed his hands down to embrace Julian properly. “Everything is so new and strange,” he remarked. “And… I don’t want to make any promises I cannot keep. You understand, don’t you? I want to make sure what I’m feeling is real.”

Julian pushed back a million questions about what exactly Asra was feeling and instead settled for holding him close. “Right. Take your time.”

“And… I hate to ask this of you, but… you’ll wait for me, won’t you?”

“Of course, I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

Both of them knew it was true, it was no exaggeration how long Julian was willing to wait like a domestic dog for his master to retrieve him. They didn’t have to say anything more as they sat together until the sun rose pink and gold.


	12. Epilogue

“Ha!” Portia exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air. “That’s fifteen-three!”

Julian scrambled after the ball, slipping a little in the sand. “Pasha, I was going easy on you,” he said, holding the ball in one hand and placing his other on his hip, “but if you’re going to be a sore sport, I won’t hold back.”

Portia stuck her tongue out at him. “Liar!”

“Didn’t I ever tell you about the time I challenged an entire crew of Gregnane pirates to a game of–”

“You just want to show off,” Portia interrupted with a smirk.

The red on Julian’s face wasn’t from sunburn. He glanced to the side of the makeshift court in the sand, where a bemused Asra lounged on a beach towel, dressed in nothing but neon swim trunks and a sheer shawl. “No,” Julian muttered, “I, uh– no way!”

“That’s good to hear,” Asra called from his towel, “because if you lose, I’m breaking up with you and getting together with your sister.”

Portia whooped and jumped in the air. “Score!”

“Wh– no! Not fair! You’ll see, I can win!”

Asra reached to his side to pick up a glass of water, taking a sip without breaking eye contact with Julian. The perspiration on the outside of the glass was enough to make Julian lick his lips in want. “Or,” Asra continued, “you could give up before she thrashes you too badly, and come keep me company watching the waves.”

Julian glanced at Portia, who mouths ‘chicken’ at him before he sighs and drops the ball in the sand. “I could’ve won,” he mumbled.

Asra patted the towel to beckon Julian to sit down, which he did with a satisfied groan. “I need to find a real opponent,” Portia pouted. She eyed the other beachgoers close by. “Hmm… I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

“I’ll keep him safe, don’t worry,” Asra told her. He watched her head down the beach to find a new team, and when she had ventured far enough away, he took the opportunity to use Julian as a body pillow, throwing both legs over his and burying his face in his side. 

“Oho, someone missed me, did he?”

“I missed your comfiness. Sand just isn’t the same.”

“Thank the Gods for that, or I’d be out of a job.” Julian grinned and ran a gentle hand along Asra’s back, prompting a coo and an eskimo kiss to his ribs. “Asra?”

“Mm?”

Julian raised his head just enough to catch sight of the ocean, which was only a few yards away. The waves crashing on the surf caught the sun and threw it back into the air with joyful hands. “Do you miss it?” he asked.

“Miss what?”

Julian pointed down to the water. “Living there. Being, uh, fishy and murderous.”

His heart fluttered when Asra scooted up to rest his fluffy head on Julian’s shoulder. Those lovely eyes. Entrancing, purple, poisonous. Asra’s lips curled up. “I wish it hadn’t happened, but I wouldn’t have met you otherwise, would I?” he murmured.

“Well, when you put it that way, it doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Why? Having second thoughts?” Asra teased.

Julian’s eyes widened to the size of moons. “No! Asra, I would never–”

“I’m joking, Julian.” Asra pecked him on the cheek to reassure him. “Could you imagine if I was still… that way? I was terrifying!”

“Terrifying,” Julian agreed. “Still hot though.”

Someone shouted something from down the beach. Both of them turned just in time to see a volleyball hit Julian square in the stomach, the force knocking him backwards. A disturbing crunch accompanied Julian’s yelp of pain. Asra scurried to tend to him, frantically checking Julian for injuries, when at last he lifts up Julian’s hand, which had collided palm-first with the glass of water. “Shit,” Julian hissed. He winced at the sight of the glass shards stuck in his skin. Bright shining blood dripped down his arm to stain the beach towel below. “I’ll have to– Asra? Asra, are you alright?”

Asra’s eyes have glazed over. He cradled Julian’s hand in both his own, more entranced than anxious. One of his fingers traced around one of the shards to collect part of the red mess. “Waste,” he whispered.


End file.
